Your lips were bittersweet with nicotine, weed, and Redbull when they whispered to me to take another shot of vodka. They told me that I owe you my life. You took my innocence away slowly with every breath you lured out of my lungs. With every forgotten and lost sin we shared together. Every crack in my fragile heart you filled in with black tar. You left my ears ringing after the gunshots you fired through me. I hate you. But I still beg you to come bother me on sleepless nights. To hold me hostage in my own bed. You tell me to stare through you and forget anything else as you hold me down. I do not belong to you. I am stronger than you. I am not alone. All lies that I tell myself. Because I still beg for you when the nightmares start coming back.
I hate the buzz of the black winged beasts because they revel in taunting me. Round and round they go until they land on my ear. Only to raise their voices and reminisce over what they’ve seen. They are filth with no respect for those once were. They won’t let me forget. They laugh and giggle when describing that day. One said “Oh, how I love my meals cold and he was my favorite” I swipe and swipe, but they always return. Their dirty feet make my ear itchy when they land. Just as I go to scratch, they fly to the other side. Another said “Don’t worry, he wasn’t alone. I left my children to keep him company.” My anger rises, but mostly at myself. Their words would be nothing, if not for my mistake. Even when the undrinkable rain falls, they don’t retreat. “When you said goodbye, why didn’t he reply?” Please. Stop. “The strong smell of a meal, it hits harder than a fly swatter” … “Oh dear, was the look on his face disappointment or fear?” I can only avoid them, if I run forward without looking back. I’ll let them be my fuel When my legs become weary and slow. No matter how far I go, I’ll always hate flies Because of the day I had to say goodbye
Thank you Ashkii for your wonderful piece! You can find Ashkii on their Instagram https://www.instagram.com/ashkiiwilson/
You Broke me When I loved you You Gave me pain When I took yours You promised forever When I challenged my heart to leave You Broke me When I loved you You were silently broken. A monster inside. I stayed. When I was the one who needed saving You wouldn't let me go When I walked away I came back home A home of fire and pain You broke me So I started to rebuild You pushed me to the deep end Where there, not even air could save me You finally let me go And I learned how to swim When I broke you I built me
Pull the trigger, reload Pull the trigger, reload The crystal shatters the lovely veil The thoughts seep in as I tell my tale The legs of life are burdened Though for happiness I am determined Heaven turned to Hell, glass to fire The memories of her strike my ire Things were so beautiful in the land of make believe How was I so blind to see that she would leave? It’s not you, it’s not me Is it the universe that’s out for my glee? Soft and tender silk set ablaze And once again returns the haze The fog looms in once again It’s harder to see my real friends Who cares about me, surely not I How could people say I’m such a good guy? Alas, here you come Finally, I can believe in someone Someone to stand for other than me Until I can once again see The haze will rise as will I This I am sure will come by Somehow someday But until then I will no longer decay I am life and life is me Nobody will always live happily But through the murk I’ll find a smirk And realize life is free And my greatness will once again come to be So raise a glass to life Because it’s one hell of a strife But the survivors have one thing to say I’ve lived to see another day The shattered crystal begins to glisten The sun has once again risen Broken things are beautiful too Just like me, just like you Broken but not gone I will see a new dawn
Thank you to Cameron Pohl for his wonderful piece "Shattered", our very first Central Shorts publication!